Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
