Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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