Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
her vagine was all disorganized.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
