This is not my ceiling
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
