forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
