You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
