:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize