i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
