I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize