"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize