I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw a hot homeless man
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
