just come out here and I will go home with you...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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