Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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