Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
