Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
