hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
