My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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