whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
