Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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