why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just blew my weed a kiss
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
