This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize