So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
