She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
