Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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