I am puke
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize