Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
