i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
