I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
