Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
