Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
