no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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