Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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