I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize