She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
