DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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