I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
