It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
