Just cropdusted the office
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My ass is underappreciated
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
