this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
