How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
