there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
