Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
