i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
