Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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