awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
