the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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