pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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