When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
