I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
