Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize