We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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