miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
