Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
