Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
