I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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