is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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