I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
