i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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