He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
