No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
