Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Randomize
