We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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