I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
God, I missed his penis.
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