im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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