The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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