I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
