I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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