why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
