Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
