All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
